A rollercoaster ride is a great metaphor for the complex emotions of women, especially those whose charge in life is to love and nurture others. There always seems to be some sort of emotional conflict happening in a woman’s life, whether it is about herself or other relationships. “We all need breathing space from our routines, relatives, and overall relationships. Here lies my biggest struggle: How to get away from me? Me, you are with us all the time no matter where we go!”
“We are all born…demanding to be cuddled, comforted, and convinced we are safe, we are secure.” This desire to be loved teaches us how to interact with others, many times bleeding heavily into the adult relationships we engage in, and how we feel about ourselves. When one recognize, accept and make peace with the past, this may help many women understand their complex emotions.
It is our belief, the way a woman is raised to think about herself, her view of her parent’s relationship and the perception of where she fits into society; greatly influences how she manages her relationships as an adult. She may have a delicate healthy balance, be extremely independent or exceptionally needy for affection. The emotional conflict comes into play when she has a hard time understanding the basic need for and how to appropriately manage getting this need met. The challenge in keeping herself happy while keeping someone else content simultaneously can be overwhelming.
Another emotional struggle is how to do for themselves when they want to do for others. Women are natural givers, and must be careful not to put themselves at the bottom of their own priority list. Women can sometimes be easily drawn into unhealthy relationships based on their natural instinct to fix things at their own expense, self- sacrifice to make things better. Nancy Lee De Moss states in her book, “Lies Women Believe,” “that is the very nature of deception—it blinds us to the fact that we have been deceived.” Women can have trouble maintaining their own values high, in the face of strong manipulative people.
Keeping values high ties into another emotional conflict such as maintaining self -esteem. How a woman feels about herself varies from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour, and can wreak havoc on an otherwise reasonable situation. Self-image, can play a huge role in daily conflicts. Fat days and bad hair days are just a glimpse into how physical self-esteem can impact a woman’s behavior. It’s up to women to take charge and be careful not to be too affected by their emotions. Daniel Seigel, author of “Mindsight,” offers this suggestion: “If we lack the capacity to monitor our emotions…we will be poorly suited to manage or learn from them.”
Once women feel comfortable making peace with themselves and their relationships, they enter into another phase of life full of emotional conflict–motherhood. One tiny baby, can cause women to place huge unrealistic expectations on themselves. The overwhelming love they feel for their child makes many women feel the obligation to meet every single physical and emotional need, no matter what the price is to their happiness. Many are also determined to mend the mistakes their parents made by being a perfect mother. This can create enormous guilt. It’s important for mothers to still embrace themselves, along with the needs of their children and put it all into the proper prospective